Two Points For Honesty

Ready Set Go (Not The Band)

2006-06-01T09:22:00.000-04:00

I'm ready.

I'm ready to write on my own.

Thank you Court for writing with me (although I posted a lot here =)).

If you want my new blog address, give me an email or leave a comment here.

Alright, see ya peeps! And thanks Court. Love you to death, thousands and thousands of miles away. Take care now.

~Mr. Mikey "Big" D (for dick)

Make It All Melt Away

2006-05-28T21:01:00.000-04:00

(Read previous blog or this one will make no sense)

My dad is not staying with my siblings tonight. On the ride home this evening, he turned down the radio in the car, and told my siblings why. I understand where he is coming from completely, and watching him tell us all about how much he cares for my mother, and how much it hurts him to be around her right now...it was ridiculously difficult. Watching him choke out the words, hold back the tears, my god, I could feel all his heartache.

As much as that killed me, the look on my brother Andrew's face hurt me inside more than anything has in the past six years. Yes, that includes those difficult break-ups and loves lost that I've had so much difficulty getting through. Seeing the tears just roll down his cheeks...I can't even describe in words how I felt. It was literally an indescribable feeling. I just broke down in tears at the mear sight of his sadness. I wanted to take all his pain away. I wanted to make him feel okay. I wanted him to understand this wasn't about him, this was between my mom and dad. Perhaps he does understand that, but all he wants is his dad. I feel so terribly bad that he has to miss out on moments with his father because of my parent's situation. There's really nothing he had done to deserve this, and seeing him the way he was tonight was more painful than I could ever imagine.

I cried the entire way home tonight. I sat rubbing my brother's head (us Dennison men really love getting our heads rubbed...it's calming to all of us), as he just wept beside me. I can't say anything to make him feel better, because there is nothing. I can only join him in feeling his pain. He shouldn't have to go through this. I want him to have that normal childhood. I don't want him to have to grow up too fast the way that I did. I want all his pain to go away.

Fuck, I want all my pain to go away. I can barely keep myself together lately with my whole break-up, and now this. If anything, it does put things into perspective. My family is first and foremost, and my relationship woes seem petty in comparison. I will do what I have to make things right (or as close to right as can be). I never want to see my brother the way he was tonight. I will do what needs to done to make this dysfunctional family semi-functional again. And I will try to make all my brother's pain all melt away...

~Mikey D

Father of Mine

2006-05-28T08:03:00.000-04:00

I'm struggling a bit right now with some family issues. Not really sure how to handle it all, or how to talk about it, so I figure I'll just write it all down and maybe there will be some advice out there from someone.

My parents have been divorced for ten years now. Amazing, because it seems like only yesterday. They had one of those messy divorces, but after years of bitterness and hurt, they were able to come away as friends. I have always admired that. They basically put their differences aside for us kids. Once a month now my dad comes to visit us kids here in Lansing, and he stays with my mom. Yes, he stays with my mom. Not in her bed or anything, but he sleeps on the couch and such. The reason my dad doesn't get a hotel is because my parents like the idea of having us kids "wake up with their dad". I suppose it's there way of having things feel normal for us kids for at least one weekend. My dad would feel like a dad when he was here, and not just a visitor. Like a family if you will (oh, and you will).

This memorial weekend I was really looking forward to seeing my dad. A couple of months ago he was hospitalized with an irregular heartbeat. He was in the hospital for a whole week. My whole life I've been one of those lucky kids who has never had to deal with a tragic death in the family, or anyone from my immediate family. In my 23 years on earth, only my grandfather has passed away, due to his cancer. It was sad for sure, but I can only imagine the pain I will feel when one of my parents dies. Anyway, I was scared when I found out about my dad. I called him practically every night to check on him. When he finally got released, the doctors said his heartbeat was back to normal. Unfortunately, a week and a half ago he was back in the hospital, with the same irregular heartbeat. He spent some more time in the hospital "regulating" the heartbeat again. I am still so scared.

It's also been a real eye-opening experience for me though. It kind of opens your eyes and makes you realize that the time you have with those loved ones around you really is limited. That's why I was really looking forward to this weekend. I was going to get to spend some real quality time with my father. And I was going to cherish it.

Unfortunately, my father found out a secret this weekend. It was one my mom had been keeping from him for almost a year. The secret? That she had a boyfriend. His name is John, and they've been dating for, well, almost a year. Why had my mom kept it from my dad? Even though my parents are divorced, and they are completely amicable when they're together, my dad is still madly in love with my mom. I know that in my dad's mind my mother will always be my dad's one and only true love. When he said those wedding vows to my mom, he meant them, and took them to heart. And even though they went through a messy divorce, his love for her has never wavered. As a true romantic, I admire his devotion and feel saddened by the loss he's feeling. As most know, however, the greatest romances are often the most tragic ones. His story is one of those tragic romantic tales of love found, and love lost.

Being in love with my mom does not make it easy to handle the news of a boyfriend. So why now, after a year, did my mom finally tell my dad? She didn't. My dad went through my mom's drawer and found a card from John. The jig was up. It was totally the wrong thing for my dad to do; a complete invasion of privacy. It is a lose-lose situation for my mom in my opinion. Either way she wasn't going to be a winner. Now my dad is upset at her for hiding John. From my mom's point of view, better him upset now than a year ago, and still being upset. I don't know what she should have done. Honesty is the best policy, isn't it? But would you sacrifice honesty for the good of your children? Could my mom risk my dad getting angry and not coming to visit? Afterall, my little brother and sister live for visits from my dad. They miss their father figure, especially Andy. I don't really know what to tell my mom to help the situation.

My dad is real torn up. He doesn't want to stay with my mom anymore, and although I know my little brother and sister would understand, I'd know they'd be real disappointed. My dad doesn't want to help my mom financially anymore (he's been real good about that), and thinks that this John guy should. He wants my little brother to come live with him. He doesn't even want to come to our (us offspring's) future weddings if my mom is going to be dating someone. Well ouch.

My mom is hurt beyond belief. One, my dad went through her stuff to find out about John. I know that my mom for months now has wanted to talk to my dad about John, but hadn't found the right time. This was not how she wanted him to find out. Now she feels tremendously guilty for hiding it from him. Again, the no-win situation. I talked to my mom a lot today. She's wondering if she should break-up with John. She's wondering what she could say to my dad to make him understand. She's tried the whole, "I would understand if you dated someone...I'd be happy for you" thing, only to be met with a "there's nobody but you" speech. My mom doesn't want to hurt my dad, especially with all his health problems lately. And deep down, although not with the passion or vigor she once had, she still loves my dad, and will always- as a friend. But she's in-love with John now.

Ah, damn-it. What's a guy to do? I know when I see my dad today he's going to talk to me about it. And I know I will get at least one phone call from my mom asking me for advice. Honestly though, I can't pick sides again. I want both to be completely and utterly happy, but I don't know if that's possible. My dad won't be completely happy unless he's with my mom again, and we're a real family. My mom won't be completely happy unless her kids are happy and my father is okay. Another lose-lose situation?

Before my parents got divorced, my mom sat me down to talk with her in her room. I remember sitting on the edge of the bed as my mom just cried. She was so unhappy. She hated being in Michigan (can relate there), she missed Maryland, she didn't like her job, and she finally realized that her marriage was over with my dad. She had fallen out of love with him. My dad, however, wanted her to move back to Maryland with all of us kids and be a family again. What was my mom to do? Does she sacrifice her own personal hapiness for the overall well being of the family?

She cried a lot that night in her room. I just listened for the most part. I was only fourteen, I didn't know much. This was all new to me. She tried explaining both sides. I could see where she was coming from. Finally she just gave up.

"You decide. Whatever you say, I will do. If you say to go back with your father, I will. If you say that we should stay here, I will. It's up to you."

Those words stick with me to this day. I had the chance to go home and be with my father...everything I had wanted the entire time I was in Michigan. Instead of saying, "I can't make that decision, mom," I made it. And go figure, it was the romantic inside me that made it.

"Do you love dad?"
"Not anymore."
"Then we have to stay here."

End of discussion. Watch the movie "Closer". "I don't love you anymore. Goodbye." Plain and simple. My parents got divorced the next month, and we stayed in Michigan. I don't think I could have lived seeing my mom so unhappy. And afterall, that was not how love worked. Even at fourteen I knew that.

So here we are again. I can feel it coming. I can feel my mom coming to me again with the "should I go back with your father" question. Should she sacrifice her happiness so we can be a real family again? I don't know... Should my dad sacrifice his happiness to keep our current fragile family relationship together? I don't know... What advice can I give???

It's also really weird, but I miss Cori at times like this. She came from a broken home too, and although I have the greatest friends in the world, they pretty much all come from stable families (which is totally remarkable and impressive...a beautiful testament to true love =)). She was the one I confided in with this sort of stuff because I think she understood better than anyone. I miss that...and it just sucks....a lot. But that's why I blog to the world about this. I need some advice, and I'm not so good at verbalizing things (Kevin can attest). What do I say to my parents?

Geeze it's early. I still can't sleep. Sigh. Eight o'clock and I've spent an hour blogging already. For fuck's sake. Dats some bullshit right there. Alright, sorry for the downer post, I'll make the next one happy and cheerful and all sorts of other gay ass shit. Fuck a duck.

~Mikey D

"I'm sorry I have to say it but you look like you're sad. Your smile is gone. I noticed it bad. The cure is if you let in a just a little more LOVE. I pormise you this, a little's enough.

Just a little..."

Wallpapering

2006-05-24T23:47:00.000-04:00

Wow, do you know how many people ask me, "Hey, what is your desktop wallpaper?" The number is approximately zero, but if someone were to ask me that, it'd be hard for me to answer. I change them so often now that it's hard for me to keep track. I don't really download wallpapers off sites anymore, but I kinda like to take pictures and add little quotes/sayings to them. Anyway, I think they're kinda cool, and I wanted to share I guess. Here's the last few wallpapers I've had up, so tell me if ya like em'.

~We live in a world of labels, stereotypes, and specifics. Some things just can't be labeled though. Moments in our lives that take our breaths away; moments that have indescribable feeling known and felt only by you...so yeah, that's the feeling behind this one =).

~We had probably 5 straight days of rain last week, so this seemed appropriate to me. I really like the Henry Wadsworth Longfellow quote. Read it if you're kinda going through a rough time.
You'll probably have to click the pic to read it without squinting. But if you like to squint, well, you're in luck.

~Love defines me. It's what I believe in, and what I believe makes life beautiful. It makes me feel alive, and yes, it's what I live for.

So I'm thinking about getting the balls and posting my story. I'm not very good with sharing (it's a miracle I didn't get held back in kindergarten), at least when it comes to my creative writings. We'll see. Maybe tomorrow.

Alright folks, short little post (that's what she said), and now I'm off to bed. Take care now. Fuck a duck.

~Mikey D

"A second chance you'll never learn,
You'll never get it right,
Story ending remain the same tonight..."

We Do What We Do

2006-05-20T12:55:00.000-04:00

I think there are certain moments in everyone's life where you just have a feeling of what you're supposed to do with your life. For Court, I'm sure one day she discovered she loved picking at people's teeth with sharp metal objects, and had that feeling that that was what she was supposed to do with hers (besides just blog with yours truely). I'm one of those people who likes to think that there are signs all around us, and everything happens for a reason. The other day I think I saw one of my signs...

I was going to get my haircut (not going to complain about it this time...I got it cut by a lovely big-breasted asian girl (yeah I know! I didn't think there was such a thing as big-breasted asian women, but they do exist! And the world is a better place for that...), and she did a marvelous job and her tits were magnificent), when a couple came in with their two young girls. If I had to guess the little girls were probably both just two or three years old. Well they came into the hair-cuttery halfway through my haircut, and they started causing the biggest comotion. They took toys out and threw them everywhere. They ran all around the place and sat in every free chair they could. They knocked over magazines. They screamed and yelled. And in between all that, they beat on each other unmercifully.

The parents? Eh, they tried I guess. They yelled. They spanked their tiny tushes. It was all to no avail though. The thing that got the girls quiet for a few moments? Candy. Their parents bought them candy to shut them up. Hmmm...now I'm no parent, but I don't think reinforcing negative behavior with candy is the best idea in the long run. But hey, they did shut up for a minute or two. Perhaps it was worth it. Who knows.

Well, after my haircut the little monsters were up to no good again. As I paid, plastic legos came flying at me and crashing into my legs. By this point the parents had given up, and didn't even appologize for their little she-devils. Bitches.

"Do you mind if I..." I said to the parents, gesturing to their kids.
"Go for it," the dad said.

I turned my attention to the little ones, and began picking up the scattered legos that had found their way from the play area to the shampoo racks.

"Well this is no way to build a castle!" I said to them. I put all the legos in a pile and began to build with the biggest ones. "You have to start with a base first. How can you make a castle without a base? And how can you make a base if you just throw all the legos all over?"

The girls stopped yelling and just stared at me quizically.

"How about this," I began. "I will build the base for you. And one of you can build a tower for one half, and the other can build a tower for the other half." I gave each a set of blocks and sat them down right next to me, and together we began to build a castle. "You girls are very lucky today. They have the best hair cutters here today, and they are going to make you look so beautiful. Like those princesses that live in castles."
"Cinderella lives in a castle," one of the girls said.
"Yup, and you'll be just like her after your haircut," I replied.
"Me too?" the other girl said.
"You both will be the two most beautiful Cinderellas. But, when you get your haircut you have to sit very still and be very good, otherwise you'll get a bad haircut. And Cinderellas can't be walking around with bad haircuts can they?"
"Noooooooo," they both said in unison.

Together we constructed a small lego castle that they both decided to live in. Silly girls, they were too stupid to know that they could never fit in a castle that small. "What is this, a castle for ANTS!" Haha, a little Zoolander for ya. Anyway, I left the girls playing quietly with the legos and the surprised parents sitting in their chairs. It felt good to help and makes things right in that place. I calmed them down. And it made me feel like what I plan on doing with my life (teach the little ones) is the right thing for me. I take that moment as a sign.

"Thanks Mr. Mom," one of the haircutters said with a laugh as I was leaving. "We need more men like you!"
"Yeah, I know," I said with my usual cocky-ass grin, and walked out.

If anything that moment makes me feel more comfortable for my new job working with the four year olds. I'm excited to start (only guy in the place, booya), and I'm excited to teach and play with the kiddies. I'm going to build the biggest block fort those four year old fuckers have ever seen. Oh, and on the playground, I'm dunking on their asses. Facials for everyone. I'm going to use my god-given height advantage to my, well, advantage. Fuckers don't even know what's in store for them.....but I'm excited to show them =).

***

I'm going to try and start taking more pictures. I'm one of those people who isn't very good with a camera, and most of the pictures I've acquired have come from other friends who like to carry their cameras everywhere and snap millions of pictures. I was looking through my old pictures the other day, and I really did like looking through them, and I wished I had more. So, in order to get more, I must take more. So I bought a camera, and that's what I'll do. I plan on posting some up here on the blog. Hopefully they won't suck too much. Speaking of not sucking too much, I've written a short story, and am debating whether or not to post it on the blog. Perhaps I will.....or perhaps I won't.....it'll be one or the other for sure, maybe.

Alright peeps, I'll holla at you cats later. Peace.

~Mikey D

"I gonna teeeeeeeeeeeeeeeear your walls down,
and storm into your hideout...
I walked with you, I talked with you...
...my memories are slipping..."

Listen Up

2006-05-18T00:09:00.000-04:00

So, looks like I need to defend my honour (yeah, that's how we spell it in Canada) and show Mikey what he's missing. Although, I must agree that Sean Paul and the other 'Top 40ers' suck ass. And that's all they play at the bars, so I need to get extra drunk before my integrity passes out and I will even consider being seen dancing to 'that music.' Ugh. I shudder just thinking about it.

Anyways, without further ado:

"Top 5 Punk Bands"

1. Face to Face
2. Rise Against
3. Thrice
4. Choke
5. The Used

"Top 5 Songs to Blast from Your Car Stereo and Sing With at the Top of Your Lungs" (Technically, for me this could be any song, but in particular:)

1. This Town - Hot Hot Heat
2. Move Along - All American Rejects
3. Mr. November - The National
4. God Killed The Queen - Louis XIV
5. The Way We Get By - Spoon

"Top 5 Songs That Give Me Goosebumps Whenever I Hear Them"

1. Boston - Augustana
2. Fix You - Coldplay
3. A Save Situation - The Format
4. First Day of My Life - Bright Eyes
5. Love Will Come Through - Travis

"Top 5 Bitter Angry Feel Like Shit Breakup Songs"

1. My Sweet Fracture - Saves the Day
2. Cute Without The 'E' (Cut From The Team) - Taking Back Sunday
3. Great Romances of the 21st Century - Taking Back Sunday
4. I'm Not OK (I Promise) - My Chemical Romance
5. Freakish - Saves the Day

"Top 5 Mushy Gushy Don't You Wish You Were In Love Songs"

1. Your Love - Tegan & Sara
2. This Is Everything - Tegan & Sara
3. Hold - Saves the Day
4. Do You Suppose I'd Come Running? - Dispatch
5. Brighter Than Sunshine - Aqualung

"Top 5 Bands Who Consistently Have The Best Lyrics Ever"

1. Saves the Day
2. Tegan and Sara
3. Brights Eyes
4. Matt Good (Matthew Good Band)
5. Taking Back Sunday

I'd like to thank all the bands for coming out today. Some of you didn't make the cut, but there's always next year....Honourable Mentions In No Particular Order:

- Death Cab For Cutie
- Beck
- Franz Ferdinand
- Nada Surf
- Our Lady Peace
- The Libertines
- Pilate
- Hawthorne Heights
- The Shins
- Tom Petty
- The Strokes
- Dashboard Confessional

Hope you've enjoyed the show. This took me waaaay longer than I thought it would, so it better have been worth it. Perhaps someone besides Mikey will work up the balls to comment.

-Court

We Don't Roll, We Roll On

2006-05-15T18:56:00.000-04:00

We need to have a talk about music. Today Kevin and I were the first ones to work, and I had a little time to kill before I could clock in. I switched the radio onto the local college radio station and just chilled for a bit. When the rest of the crew arrived, they were less than thrilled with my music choice. As one so politely put it, "This is crap." This person immediately went to the radio and turned it to Lansing's top-40 radio station and my ears were blessed to hear some of Sean Paul's "Temperature". "This is much better," my coworker replied.

Wait. What? How is that much better? How is some foreign guy with a strong accent who mumbles and slurs his words together better than anything? If Sean Paul was the only one who put out music, I would rather hear nothing for the rest of my life. Fuck, even now when Sean Paul isn't the only one putting out music I would still rather hear nothing. I'd just rather be deaf. Yup, Sean Paul makes me want to be part of the deaf community.

For my entire workday I listened to top-40 radio. I swear to you there are not 40 hits on this station. I think it's about 10 songs played over and over and over again. Maybe I'm getting older and whatnot, but I cannot stand this cheesy, poppy, dance shit anymore. It flat out sucks. And for those of you who say I'm not giving it a chance, well I fucking did. For eight hours today. So fuck you. And for those of you who say it's "catchy" or "fun to dance to", I am intolerant of your viewpoint and think you are mentally retarted.

So what is my point you ask? Music today is so bad that people have no concept on what is good and what is bad anymore. It's like we're reliving the tragic mistake of the 80's again. Say what you want about the music I listen to (it's whiny emo and you can't dance to it), but at least it has substance. It has feeling...and you can understand lyrics. There are so many talented musicians out there who go unheard because they're different than the mainstream bullshit being played right now and don't get the air play deserved. Sigh.

So no, this is not "much better". This is much worse. And now I have to set you all straight. I must get you all to try and listen to something better. So I now give you my music awards for May 15, 2006. Enjoy and fucking listen for the love of god. Thank you.

"Best Band to Chill to Late at Night and Reflect on Your Past, Present, and Future" Award:
Third Place: Elliot Smith
Second Place: David Kitt
WINNER: AMERICAN FOOTBALL
*Do this band a favor and check them out if you haven't. My favorite song right now that they've put out is called "For Sure". I put a bunch of their songs in a playlist the other night and felt as if I was in heaven. I felt quite relaxed and my mind cleared completely.

"Best Band on the Face of the Universe" Award:
Third Place: Dashboard Confessional
Second Place: Copeland
WINNER: Guster
*Guster is amazing. Plain and simple. I still believe their older stuff is where their genious lies. They will disagree with me, however. They will say that is fiction where genious lies =). My Guster fans will understand me there. Listen to Copeland's melodies though. That man has a beautiful voice (I know I sound gay there, but just do it).

"Best Punk Band Around...That I Love" Award:
Third Place: October Fall
Second Place: Blink 182
WINNER: Jimmy Eat World
*Jimmy qualifies as a punk band, right? They're not hardcore, but they are still amazing. Every single song in their collection fucking rocks. Blink is amazing too, especially their last album. Stroke of genious. October Fall is just a great band to jam to. Love em'.

"I Wish You'd Fucking Go the Hell Away" Award:
Third Place: Rap Music- All of it.
Second Place: Techno Music- All of it (except for the rare song I do like =))
WINNER: Sean Paul
*I hate you Sean Paul. I hope you die from an ass infection after someone sticks a rotting log up your ass that is covered in diseases man hasn't even discoverd. Yes, that is what I hope for.

"Songs That Will Always Touch My Heart" Award:
Third Place: Copeland- Coffee
Second Place: Lovedrug- Spiders
WINNER: Damien Rice- Blower's Daughter.
*Sigh, if I could only bring myself to listen to these songs again...

"Songs That Should Be On Your Next Mixtape To Your Girlfriend" Award:
Third Place: Copeland- May I Have This Dance
Second Place: Jamison Parker- Here's Everything I Meant To Say
WINNER: Lovedrug- Spiders
*Beautiful. All Three. Enough Said.

Band To Check Out (not mentioned above):
Angels and Airwaves
Cartel
The Format
Moneen
This Day and Age
The Smiths
Reindeer Section
Iron and Wine
Lyndsay Diaries
Cranberries
Teitur
Stars
Something Corporate
Ryan Adams
New Radicals
Sunny Day Real Estate
Mae
Juliana Theory
John Ralston
Kathleen Edwards
Jeff Buckley
Dredge
Death Cab For Cutie
Postal Service
Dakona
Cute Is What We Aim For
Boys Night Out
Ben Folds
Bayside
Alkaline Trio
Josh Joplin Group
The Shins
Howie Day
Straylight Run
Frou Frou

There ya go folks. That should be a good start for you. Oh, and you're welcome. =)

~Mikey D

"You're not in! This is not how it was supposed to be. All I wanted to say was that I dreamed about you last night. We were in a field and the soundtrack to Singin' in the Rain was playing in the background. We lay on our backs just staring at the moon. I want you to know I won't stop loving you. I promise you, I won't."

I Am Addicted To Coke

2006-05-07T21:28:00.000-04:00

I am a Coke addict.

No, not that kind of coke.

The other one.

Coca-Cola Classic.

Yup, as far as addictions go, I'm in pretty deep with this one. I usually have at least one a day, and if I only have one a day, well, let's just say I must not have been feeling too hot that day. I like to think that I get it from my mom, who is a Diet Coke addict. Like myself, she cannot go a single day without her caffeinated fix. I know my addiction isn't as bad as someone who can't get off drugs, or even a smoker for that matter. But it's an addiction nonetheless, and probably has cost me hundreds and hundreds of dollars to feed. And being the poor sap that I am, really could probably use that extra money.

Since I've begun to work out and be more active, I've been trying to clean up my lifestyle a bit. I've stopped eating fast food (whoa, that's hard as fuck for me folks...Adam and Kevin are witnesses to the amount of fast food I've eaten...it's sickening), and I'm trying to cut back on the junk I eat at home. I'm replacing my traditional snack foods for healthier alternatives. No more greasy potato chips for Mikey, instead it's raisins and Nutri-grain bars. I don't really mind the switch. I really am going to try and be dedicated to lifting and working out this summer. I want to put on some weight and muscle. And to do so, I need protein and those good carbs and fats. Unfortunately for me, Coca-Cola does little to offer much in the way of good nutrition. Okay, let's be honest, it's just not good for you...period.

I'm sure you've read on the internet or had one of your family members send you one of those mass emails about the wonders of Coca-Cola. Maybe you've heard of some of these:

1) In many states, highway patrol cars carry two gallons of Coke in their trunks to help remove blood from highway roads after accidents.
2) You can put a T-Bone steak in Coke and it will be completely gone in two days (want to try this...but I don't want to waste a steak...ah well)
3) To loosen a rusted bolt: Apply a cloth soaked in Coke to the rusted bolt for several minutes.
4) For 20 years, the distributors of Coke have been cleaning their truck engines with Coke.

So yeah...kinda makes you think. I have heard of those things before, but never really thought of the dangers that Coke could bring to myself. Which is weird, because people are using it to clean truck engines...so I guess that makes me stupid or something. But anyway, Coca-Cola does a couple things to the human body. The active ingredient in Coca-Cola in phosphoric acid. What the hell does that do you ask? Well, phosporic acid, with a pH of 2.8, can fucking dissolve a nail in four days. Four days! Do you know what it can do to your bones? Nothing good! It actually takes calcium away from your bones, which could possibly lead to osteoporosis down the road. Now you'd have to drink a lot of Coke to do that...I'd say at least one a day...uh oh.......Coke is also made with a high fructose corn syrup. All fructose syrups must be metabolized by your liver. Coke is so high in fructose content though, that your liver struggles meabolizing it. In a way, drinking too much Coke is like being an alcoholic and drinking too much beer. You're both killing your liver! So weakened bones and rotting liver? Hmmm. No, no that will not help me with my quest to put on muscle.

But the health hazards that Coca-Cola has are not the only reasons why I'm choosing to stop drinking it. I've recently begun reading the magazine, "The Nation," which is, as they describe it, a magazine with "news and analysis on politics and culture from the left." Me, being the liberal that I am, kinda like reading some of the shit in it. This past week they had a cover story about Coca-Cola. Just glancing at the cover, I suspected it would be an article warning people about the health hazards of Coke. Instead, it outlined the two year battle that has been going on in "the largest anticorporate movement since the campaign against Nike for sweatshop abuses."

What?!?! My beloved Coca-Cola? A bad, and I mean bad, company? Now I've heard of stories of these large American companies who like to take advantage of cheap labor overseas and whatnot. I've even heard Coca-Cola's name mentioned as one of those companies. I figured, not that it's right or anything, that it was becoming a pretty standard practice for these large companies to expand and find the cheapest possible labor. But after reading the article, I have to say that I'm a little disturbed...

"On the morning of December 5, 1996, union leader Isidro Segundo Gil was standing at the gate of the Coca-Cola bottling plant in Carepa, Colombia, when two paramilitaries drove up on a motorcycle and shot him dead. A week later, unionists say, paramilitaries lined up all the workers inside the plant and forced them to sign a letter resigning from the beverage union SINALTRAINAL, spelling the end of the union at the plant." Of course, Coca-Cola denies any wrongdoing. They have no control of the paramilitaries in Colombia, right? Afterall, it's very convenient to contend "that the murders are a by-product of the country's civil war." Seems a little too convenient to me. Especially when nearly 4,000 union members have been killed by paramilitaries in the past twenty years, and oh yeah, did Coke mention? Their high ranking officials like to meet with the paramilitaries on a regular basis! Shady folks, just shady...

The outcry from the public is only going to grow. In India, Coke plants have allegedly polluted and depleted water supplies. America, the most obese nation in the world, blames Coca-Cola as part of the problem for obesity. Of course everyone is responsible for their own actions (you don't have to drink it if you don't want to), but Coca-Cola spends billions of dollars a year on advertising that is aimed at the youth of the world. Why do you think people have this preconceived notion that Coke is a squeeky clean little operation? Because their billion dollar advertisements play towards kids and the kid inside all of us. Tricky, tricky. Now, 58% of eight year old American kids have at least one carbonated beverage a day. Eight year olds! Do they need the caffeine and sugar rush? So not only is Coca-Cola facing the labor issues, they are meeting resistance from environmentalists, human rights activists, health experts, and stockholders, who in the past few years have watched the Coca-Cola stock drop steadily. Pretty much everyone who is an "expert" at something has a reason to hate Coke.

Many campaigns have already been launched against Coca-Cola. Many are student-driven, and at least twenty or so universities around the world have terminated distribution contracts with Coca-Cola. This spring, Michigan State University is debating whether to terminate their contract. I was proud to see our school's name on the list of univeristies that are thinking about doing that. It seems like it might be the right thing to do, even though they will lose money possibly in doing so. It's just nice to see an institution take a moral stance based on what they feel is right, instead of it being purely based on money. Anyway, there's always Pepsi still...

***

So I have to cut it out. No more Coca-Cola for me. I'm replacing it with other delicious beverages, like water. I've never been a fan of just drinking straight water, but like most things in life, you get used to it. In fact, I'm drinking a glass as I sit and type this fantastic blog. For three days now, I have been Coke-free. Kudos to me. I am a recovering Coka-aholic. Like I said, there are worse things. But I feel good about having the will power to stop. And I feel good not giving money to a company that might not be as reputable and clean as I originally thought. I encourage you to pick up a copy of "The Nation" and check out the article. Interesting stuff.

Well, that's it for this post. 100 profile hits in a week?!?! Damn! That's pretty....uh fucking awesome! Good job Court, guarantee they're looking at your picture and not my ugly mug. Holllllllllllllla bitches!

~Mikey D

"Open your eyes and let me in,
I swore to God I'd never swear,
And we all fall down...
And we all fall down...
Again."

You Can't Get Bread at the Hardware Store

2006-05-06T01:07:00.000-04:00

So, I figure it's time for me to one-up Mikey here, and post my little heart out. Not literally.

Anyways, as I mentioned in a previous comment, the whole idea of expectations within a relationship, is essentially mine. In fact, I've created an entire analogy surrounding this very topic. Here is the gist of it:

You Can't Get Bread at the Hardware Store.

Sounds simple enough, right? Umm, duh, Court. Everyone knows that already. Shut up. No you don't. I guess I'll back it up a bit here and explain. This analogy was first conceived regarding my realationship with my father. I had these high expectations of him. I wanted so much for him to tell me he understood where I was coming from and that he supported my decisions 100% and that even if he doubted me, he would remain non-judgemental and not criticize me.

This, my friends, was not the case. You see, my dad was the hardware store, and I kept going there to get bread. There was never bread at the hardware store. This angered me. For some reason, I had it in my mind that this was the place to get bread, but then when I got there and the guy told me they didn't have bread, I freaked out a little. I felt betrayed. I felt hurt and letdown. I really wanted bread, and the hardware store, my dad, never had it.

Don't get me wrong, the hardware store has many other wonderful things to offer: hammers, paint, power tools, outdoor furniture, and even sprinklers.

It eventually dawned on me that, hey, maybe I'm not in the right fucking place. And sure enough, no, the hardware store is not ideal if what you want is bread. So, as soon as I stopped expecting there to be bread, there was no emotional plummet occurring when I learned that they didn't carry it. My trips to the hardware store became much more rewarding. I actually started to like going there, and even look forward to future visits.

For me, getting angry with people who didn't meet my expectations was wasted energy. It's not their fault. They just don't have any fucking bread. That's not their thing. Ok. I can accept that. Must get bread elsewhere. Done.

As flawless of an idea as this may seem, I have tended to forgot it's basic principles. For instance, realtor guy really pulled one over on me. He was all charming and blue eyed in the beginning of our brief courtship, calling when he said he would, saying nice things, etc. We were making all these plans about things we would do this summer. Concerts, parties, general merriment.

I guess I'm just naive. I have the viewpoint that people will tell me the truth, because, well, why the fuck would you need to lie to someone? I need to be more critical. I need to be more skeptical. I need to not place unreasonable expectations on people who will surely fail to meet them. I need to get my bread at the bread store, and my hardware at the hardware store and call it a day.

Some words of advice: It is better to tell someone that you are not interested in them, than to maintain some bullshit charade that will inevitably just hurt me and lower my self-esteem. Be a fucking man. Don't make me break up with you, when you wanted to break up with me 2 weeks ago. Just do it, asshole. Spare me the extra 2 weeks of wondering why it takes you so long to return my calls. Spare me the embarrasment of me telling my friends about how great you are one day, than informing them that you are inexplicibly no longer interested in me the next. Spare me $250 that I will need to spend on 'get over you' clothing to make me feel hot again. Just spare me.

-Court

And if not I'll take my spoons,
Dig out your blue eyes,
Swallow them down to my colon.
They're gonna burn like hell tonight.
Cause you're beautiful,
Just not on the inside

Break Down of a Break Up

2006-05-04T21:42:00.000-04:00

For those of you who are unaware (and I'm sure that you aren't, haha), I am going through a pretty hard break-up right now.

I think I finally have a handle on myself again. For the first time in probably a month, I feel comfortable with where I'm at right now. I feel in control of my life, and most importantly, my emotions. I believe I'm on my way to a full and healthy recovery, and another day closer to being ready to fall in love again. That's an exciting thought =).

This is my break down of a break up. I feel in the past month I've ran the gambit of emotions. If there's a feeling I haven't felt, I don't know what it is. This blog entry is for those people who might be going through the same thing as me right now. Maybe it will be comforting to know that someone else out there in this world is feeling the same thing as they are. And if I can offer any advice or any help in any way, than this blog will be a success.

"I Should Mean More" ~Jamison Parker
Yeah, you should. Damn fucking straight. You give and give, and this is how it turns out? You trust someone with your heart, and this is what they do to you? It's bullshit! Rejection hurts, especially when you're madly in love with your significant other. The first week of my break-up I couldn't even fathom living without my ex. It seemed virtually impossible. How could someone mean so much to me, and how could I mean so little to them? It doesn't seem fair...

The first week or two you will spend analyzing and wondering where it all went wrong. Perhaps it wasn't anything you did (more often than not it's THEM, and not YOU). People change. People fall out of love. People cheat. It happens. In relationships there are no guarantees. You might say to people, "But I trusted him/her with my heart!" Think about that statement. Really think about what it means to trust someone. In fact, spend the next minute coming up with a definition on what it really means to trust someone. Your own personal definition, no need to consult Mr. Webster here...

Okay, got it? Well here's what I think. When you are trusting someone, you are asking them to meet YOUR expectations. I trust that you will get the job done. You are saying that you are hoping that the other person will do that job up to your expectations. Or how about this example: You let someone borrow your car for a week. After a week, you get your car back and it is full of dents, scratches, and whatever else. You say, "But I trusted you with my car! How could this happen?" What you really are saying is, "I trusted you to drive my car and not put any dents, scratches, and whatever else in it". They didn't meet your expectations, and therefore they become untrustworthy in your mind.

In my case, I was cheated on. I had the expectation that in our relationship cheating was unacceptable. She didn't meet my expectation. My trust was then therefore violated. Which makes brings things back around to this one glaring point: Relationships are NOT guaranteed. Nothing in life, and especially in relationships, is a "sure thing". You have to accept that... "But I trusted him/her with my heart". Relationships are not guaranteed. "I thought we'd be together forever." Relationships are not guaranteed. "I thought we were the perfect couple." RELATIONSHIPS ARE NOT GUARANTEED! It's a hard pill to swallow, I know. It's the truth though.

I should mean more. Those four words say it all. Remember, you are the loving and caring one. You are the one that is hurting right now, but once you wrap your mind around the words you tell yourself, and begin to accept them as truth, you'll be well on your way to recovery. You should mean more, and you know what? Someone else out there (as depressing as that sounds right now) will think you mean the world to them. Just think, you are one step closer, one relationship closer to finding your TRUE LOVE. Isn't that a refreshing thought? A love where they will meet your expectations, have your trust, and treasure you like the gem you are. Sounds pretty good, yeah?

"They are dead to me now." ~Court
I saw this on Court's survey the other day. The words have stuck with me these past couple of days. How could someone, who you love with all your heart, become dead to you? Could that possibly happen with your ex?

Two weeks ago I would have said no. But then again I was in the stage where I missed every little thing my ex said or did, and every single memory/moment that we shared. I was too depressed to think of anything but her. She was my world. She would always be my world...or so I thought.

The more you remove yourself from that other person, the easier it is to look at your relationship objectively, or with an outside eye. Was it as perfect as you thought? Was he/she as perfect as they really seemed? Perhaps you aren't at this stage yet, but trust me when I tell you that you will be. Your relationship wasn't perfect. They weren't perfect, and the love you shared wasn't perfect. How do I know? Because if it was, you'd still be together! Yeah? Yes.

I have just recently moved to this stage. I am so extremely proud of myself for making this much progress so far (feel free to congratulate me, I'd love to hear it =)). My thoughts of depression have turned to pure bitterness, anger, and resentment. "They are dead to me now." Could I possibly feel that way someday? Yeah, yeah I could.

In the first two weeks following our break-up, all I could do was think about the good qualities about my ex, and the good times that we shared. Great memories to say the least. But now I try to look at my ex in a present-day light. She's not the same woman I dated for 9 months. My ex cheated on me with a stranger on a cruise. She threw everything we had away. She violated my trust, and the beauty of our love. That's forever ruined. And you know something? That angers me. That pisses me right the fuck off now. I should be mad too. That was MY heart she broke. That was MY trust she violated. This is MY life I refuse to let her ruin.

Be angry. You have the right. Don't go slashing their tires or leave nasty voicemails, but be angry about what they did to you! If you can get to this stage, feel very good about yourself, because as much as you miss your ex and what you used to have, you are starting to see them in a different light...a more realistic light. And that is great =).

"Now It's Done" ~Straylight Run
After the anger subsides, then acceptance kicks in. Acceptance that it really is over. Acceptance that you and your ex were not meant to be right now. Acceptance that you are still a great person, and deserve to be happy again.

I'm not at this stage yet, but hopefully will be soon =). I look forward to it greatly. The best advice I can give someone to get to this stage is to just stay busy. Throw yourself into your work. Take extra hours if you can. Do things that you've always wanted to do. Hang out with those friends you've unfortunately neglected. Pamper and spoil yourself. Do things that make you feel good. Do things that show you that life is still great, beautiful, and fun.

I'm trying to take those steps. I really am trying hard. I thought about what I've always wanted to do, but never had the time to. I always wanted to learn how to play the piano. Now I have a lesson once a week. I'm excited to learn a musical instrument (never have before), and play songs that I've always wanted to. I can't wait to play Something Corporate's "Konstantine" (learning it this weekend!) or Mike Paski's "Cold Drive Home". It's going to be fun, and who knows, being able to play will probably be beneficial in my classroom in the future. I also wanted to get in better shape. I wanted to put a little muscle on me. So I got a membership at the YMCA, and I hired a personal trainer. Now once a week I have someone telling me how to properly use the machines, what to eat, and setting up a great workout routine for me. Finally, I got a job at the YMCA working as a camp counselor. Now I'll get to be outside and working with kids.

All of these things help me in so many ways. One, I'm not just sitting around thinking about my ex. Two, I'm out doing things that will make me become a more well-rounded person. Three, I feel damn good about myself when I do them! You feel good when you work out! You feel good when you learn to play a new song! You feel good helping others! And the best part is I'm getting out there and meeting new people. The next love of my life isn't going to show up at my doorstep while I'm busy being depressed. And it's not like I'm going out searching for her (definitely not even close to ready to date again yet), but I like the fact that I can be out meeting people. And you never know what could happen, right???

Now it's done. You are ready to take a step forward in your life. Ready to move on. Ready for love again. Congratulations, you've done it!

"Cause Love Is A Marathon" ~Teddy Geiger
You will never forget you ex. He or she will always hold a special place in your heart. Love always leaves its mark on a heart. There will come a time when you can look back at your relationship and see it as a beautiful and wonderful experience in your life. I know I will. But also think of it as a learning tool. With each relationship you are redefining what you want/need/look for in a potential partner. You probably have a good idea of what physically you want your partner to look like, what kind of personality you want them to have, etc, etc. And that's great! Love is a marathon. You have your whole life to live and love. Enjoy it!

This is going to be a rough time. I'm right there with you. All I want right now is to be able to live my life happily like I used to. And I'm sure you feel the same. And someday we will again. It'll be all good, no worrys =).

Break-ups take time, and there is this process you go through. But you will be fine in the end. Keep telling yourself that. Brighter days are ahead =) =) =).

~Mikey D

The Same, But Different

2006-05-02T01:46:00.000-04:00

So, got a similar survey to the one Mikey filled out (also semi-long; sorry) and figured this was an easy way out of my first entry. Enjoy. I guess.

1. What time did you get up this morning? like 10:30ish
2. Diamonds or pearls? diamonds
3. Bananas or kiwis? bananas , mainly because of the song
4. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? haha, cinema. good one.
5. What are your favorite TV shows? well, now that 'breaker high' is off the air... the OC
6. What did you have for breakfast? I kinda slept past breakfast and into a lovely time period I like to call sitting on my ass eating leftover perogies at 11:00
7. What is your middle name? Lynn
8. What is your favorite cuisine? probably ginger beef
9. What food do you dislike? cow's milk (soy is king)
10. Your favorite Potato chip? anything with dip is fine
11. What is your favorite CD at the moment? satellite radio has really nullified cds... sorry
12. What kind of car do you drive? jeep grand cherokee (don't hate me cause it's pretty and I won't die if I crash)
13. Favorite sandwich? veggie w/ cream cheese
14. What characteristics do you despise? lying sons of bitches
15. Favorite item of clothing? do flip flops count?
16. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? spain & portugal
17. What color is your bathroom? blue & yellow
17. Favorite brand of clothing? volcom
18. Where would you want to retire to? I'll worry about a career then we'll see how it goes
19. Favorite time of day? 9pm
20. Where were you born? here
21. What laundry detergent do you use? ummm, tide?
22. Coke or Pepsi? neither
23. Are you a morning person or night owl? night owl
24. What size shoe do you wear? 8
25. Do you have pets? I hate animals
26. What did you want to be when you were little? grown up
27. What color underwear are you wearing? black
28. Nicknames: court, c-dawg, crazy c, and most recently C-Bell Home-Dawg White Canadian Cracka Jack
29. Piercing? only in my ears
30. Eye color? I cant see my own eyes silly... Man, I'm a dork. They're green.
31. Ever been toilet papering? like in the bathroom?
32. Love someone so much it made you cry? yes, but they're dead to me now
33. What color is your bedroom carpet? plum
34. How many times did you fail your driver's test? uh, failed the written once but not the road test
35. Before this one, from whom did you get your last e-mail? Mikey D, awww
36. What do you do most often when you are bored? this kinda shit
37. Bedtime? I'll sleep when I'm dead
38. Last person(s) you went to dinner with? stupid motherfucking realtor guy. eat shit and die
39. What are you listening to right now? Spoon - the way we get by
40. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? that's deep, but I need to wrap this shit up

There we go. That wasn't so bad, was it? Did we all learn something about Court today? Ok then. Maybe I'll have something real to say later.

-Court

"Fall in love to down on the street
We believe in the sum of ourselves
I said that's the way we get by"

Who Is That Masked Man?

2006-05-01T22:43:00.000-04:00

So one of my friends sent me one of those survey type things that allows you to describe yourself. I normally delete that sort of stuff, but then I thought, "Hey, I have a new blog, this would be a great way to introduce myself". Especially since I failed miserably yesterday and ended up talking about my sexual experiences before the second grade. Oye. So here's my survey =).

Name: Mikey D

Nick Names: Mikey "Big" D (that's right ladies....hehe.....ohhhhhhh yeah, giggity giggity)

Age: 23

What I'm Listening To Right Now: The Smiths, "Ever Day is Like Sunday"

What Is Sitting Next To Me Right Now: My cup of water, a stuffed duck, my checkbook, and hand lotion......for dry skin....uhhhhhh yeah, now way around that one I suppose

Who Do You Want To Spend The Rest Of Your Life With: My future wife, my friends, and my family.

Last Thing You Ate: A mini frozen supreme pizza with a can of coke....oh so healthy

Where Do You Want to Go On Your Honeymoon: Preferably to Europe, but I'm not particular. I'll let my wife decide. NO FUCKING CRUISES!!!

Who Makes You Happy: Kevin, Adam, and my family.....(and Court)

What Do You Like To Do: You could probably check our profile for this one, but I'll list a few things I suppose. I enjoy keeping my hands moistened with lotion so they don't dry out. I like typing in my blog. I like being in love. I like the thought of being in love.

Last Person I Talked To On The Phone: The guy from the Temple Club.

What Are You Afraid Of: Being alone.

What Did You Do Yesterday: I took my first piano lesson =). My goal is to play and sing Something Corporate's "Konstantine". I will do it. I had lunch with my grandparents and celebrated their birthdays. I also played football outside with Kevin and Adam, and wrote a pretty sweet blog =).

Do I Wear Glasses: No.

Eye Color: Brown baby, like shit

Hair Color: Brown bear in the winter, blondie in the summer

Height: 6' 2"

Your Perfect Woman: Someone I could love for the rest of my life. An honest and caring person who has the ability to laugh at everything.

Worst Thing About the Opposite Sex: Dishonesty and mind games...fuck you all

If You Could Change One Thing About Yourself...: I'd have more self-confidence and belief in myself.

Siblings: 3. Two younger brothers (18, 13) and a younger sister (14)

Career: Kindergarten teacher (soon)

Going to University: Michigan State...to get certified (finally)

Where Do You See Yourself in 10 Years: Married with at least one kid. And out of Michigan for good.

Have You Ever:
Loved Someone It Made You Cry: Yes
Drank Alcohol: Yes
Broken The Law: Yes
Cheated On a Test: Yes
Broken a Bone: No
Skinny Dipped: Not on purpose
Played Truth or Dare: Yes
Flashed Someone: No
Mooned Someone: Yes
Kissed Someone You Didn't Know: Never
Been In a Physical Fight: Yes
Rode In a Police Car: Yes
Been On a Plane: Yes
Come Close To Dying: No
Been In a Sauna: Yes
Swam in the Ocean: No

What Do You Think About...:
Abortion: Pro-Choice
Country Music: Like it for the most part
Classical: Good, when I'm in the mood
Soap Operas: Nope
Airplanes: What about em?
Amusement Parks: They're amusing

What is...:
My Good Luck Charm: A raisin box I've had since the seventh grade.
Worst Song You've Ever Heard: Most rap
Best Song You've Ever Hear: Guster, "Either Way"
Most Embarrassing C.D.: Uhhhh none, although my friends would disagree
My Bedroom Like: Clean, for the most part

Are You A...:
Good Driver: Yes, when I wanna be
Good at Sports: Yes
Good Actor: Yes
Deep Sleeper: Noooooooo
Good Dancer: I wanna be
Shy: Very
Good Storyteller: When I have a book in front of me

Okay, okay, I don't want to do anymore. Geeze that was long as fuck. God. Alright, that should be enough information about me. Holla at you cats later. Peace.

~Mikey D

Welcome One and All

2006-04-30T10:25:00.000-04:00

Court has graciously given me first crack at posting on our blog. Bless her Canadian heart. Since this is a new blog, many of you don't know Court and I very well. Fuck, even I don't know Court very well =) (besides the fact she likes some weird cereal named 'Vector'......and that's just quirky). So this is my re-introduction to the internet blog world. Ladies and more ladies, let me introduce you to myself, Mikey D...

I was born and raised in the upper deep south, right on the Mason-Dixon line in beautiful Frederick, Maryland. I was a southern boy through and through...except I didn't like farming, plaid shirts, slavery, SEC football, or riding shirtless in the back of pick-up trucks with bundles of hay, pigs, and my uncle. I went to a private school for my early elementary years, where I learned I had quite a knack with the ladies. In kindergarten this curly haired bitch would always try to sit next to me and steal my fucking Cheetos during snack time. The only way to get rid of her, according to her, was if I let her kiss my cheek. So I let her touch my penis. Worked out well.

Then my next door neighbor and I began to hang out a lot in first grade. She was the only one in my neighborhood that was my age, so naturally we hit it off. We could talk all day about which Ghostbuster was the sweetest, bugs we found in the garden, and lincoln logs. Well one day we found ourselves alone in my closet. This memory is a little fuzzy, so I'm not sure how we actually got into the closet, but I'm going to guess we chased a bug into it. Of course one thing led to another, and I asked her to show me her vagina, and in return, I would show her my anaconda. Fair trade off in my book, and apparently in hers as well. She flashed me hers, and being just six at the time, I just laughed. Girls have vaginas...hahahaha. Then it was my turn. Instead of just giving her a quick peak at my teeny adolecent penis, I decided to do a striptease for her. This part I remember vividly, because as my Mickey Mouse underwear were at my ankles, my hips swaying side to side, dick swinging in the breeze (yes, this closet was drafty...that's why I told her it was so small...), my mother decided to open the door. Oye. She sent my neighbor home, and made me pull up my pants. I think we had a little birds and bees talk, and we both agreed that I would not be showing my penis that way to a girl ever again. And to this day I have not done another striptease. A promise is a promise. I do believe that day disturbed my mom more than me. Eh, that's okay, because I saw my neighbor's vagina =).

I was doing pretty well with the ladies until I hit the second grade. That's when things all went downhill. Her name was Catalina. Very exotic...meow. She was very unique, not like all the other second graders. She would rather curl up with a good Dr. Seuss book than play with all the other kids on the jungle gym. I liked that. Give me a different kind of girl. Anyway, I got her to go on a few play dates with me, and they were pretty tight. We'd play tag at her house, and she'd come over and build block forts at mine. It was a good time to say the least. Then...it all fell apart. We were at my house. We were playing king and queen, and my room was our castle (by the way, I was the king...and fuck you). That's when I decided I had to have Catalina. She was going to be mine. But how? I needed some grand gesture to show her my true feelings, my true desire for her. Then I had it. A fake rubber snake! Yes! Perfect! I placed it in our grand castle, right on her throne. I ushered her in through our drawbridge.....and then she screamed.....then ran.....then cried.....then went home......and never came back.........Our relationship was strained after that. I tried to explain to her that it was a FAKE rubber snake, and not a real one. She said it didn't matter, and that I was a mean boy. Mean boy!?!? I played fucking king and queen with you bitch! No self-respecting guy would do that! So I called her a whore and never talked to her again. Bitch.

I swore off girls for awhile after that. They just seemed like trouble to me. Stealing cheetos. Getting caught stripping by my mom. Crying over fake rubber snakes. Girls sucked! I had an occasional weird run-in with the opposite sex here and there. In third grade I was over at my neighbor's house, and was going to get the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle figures from her room upstairs. As I passed her parent's bedroom, I saw that her dad was spanking her mom's bare ass. Her mom's HUGE bare ass. If I wasn't scarred from my mom catching me strip, I was from this. What the fuck? Her mom must have been a bad bad bad girl. And let me clarify one thing. When I say spank, I'm not talking with an open hand. I'm talking with a ping pong paddle. Dude, there are kids in the house! Keep your door closed and save the kinky shit for after bedtime!...Then in fifth grade I was chatting up a nice young lass during some free time in class. She was cute, and I was glad that the seating chart gods had placed me next to her. After talking with her for a little, she got a very weird expression on her face. She became very flushed...almost embarrassed. I asked her what was wrong, and she told me to get the teacher. I did, and as I found out later...she had had her period right there in the chair next to me. "What's a period," I asked my mom. Ohhhhhhhhhh. Ewwwwwwwwww! Girls, once again, too much trouble, and too gross for me.

Nowadays things are different. I'll give girls more of a chance =). In sixth grade I had my first kiss. It was on my school bus. Her name was Sonnet Sparks. I knew she liked me, and one day she positioned herself right across from me on the bus. When the time was right, she struck. She attempted to kiss me right on the cheek, but yours truly would have none of that. I grabbed her and placed one right on her lips. Booya mother fucker! And after that, my life was never the same. Girls weren't bad, they were great!

Until they break-up with you, cheat on you, or lie to you......that's for another day and another blog though....

Well, this little introduction about myself probably didn't help you get to know me too well. Don't worry though, I will talk about myself again, I promise. Then you can learn something else about me besides who I got with in first grade. Although that's all that's really important about a person, right? Right.

Okay folks, Hollllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllla!!!!!

~Mikey D

"If that's all you will be
You'll be a waste of time
You've dreamed a thousand dreams
None seem to stick in your mind...

Two points for Honesty"